Alyson Smith
MA, CPC
Operations Director
It shows up everywhere — in emails, in meetings, in text messages, in the middle of a perfectly reasonable request. And every single time it does, it quietly chips away at the weight of what you’re saying.
On the surface, “just” seems harmless. Polite, even. But linguistically, it functions as a minimizer — a word that shrinks whatever comes after it.
When you say “I just wanted to ask…”, you’re signaling that your question is small, maybe even a bother. When you say “I just think we could try a different approach,” you’re preemptively apologizing for having an opinion.
You’re making yourself smaller before anyone else has the chance to.
“Just” is sneaky. Once you start looking for it, you’ll find it everywhere:
In emails:
In conversations:
In self-introduction:
Read those back. Every single one of them starts with a retreat. The speaker is already backpedaling before the real sentence begins.
For college students and young professionals, this habit is especially worth addressing — because they’re already fighting an uphill battle against being underestimated.
They’re newer to the room. They have less experience. They may feel like they need to earn the right to speak. And so the temptation to soften every thought, to hedge every idea, to lead with “I’m just a student…” is completely understandable.
But here’s the thing: the people who mentor them, hire them, and advocate for them are not looking for someone who apologizes for existing. They’re looking for someone who is learning, who is engaged, and who can communicate their ideas clearly and directly.
Awareness is the first step, but it’s not enough on its own. Here’s how to make the shift stick:
1. Do a “just audit” on your sent folder. Pull up the last 10 emails you’ve sent and search for the word “just.” Count them. This alone is usually enough to make you cringe — and cringe is a powerful motivator.
2. Set a one-week challenge. Tell yourself you’re going to catch it before you send it. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be more aware. (See what we did there.)
3. Read it out loud before you send. A sentence that sounds fine in your head often reveals itself when spoken. “I just wanted to ask if maybe you had a second to look at this” is a lot to carry when you hear it.
4. Replace it with nothing — or something better. Most of the time, deleting “just” is all you need. Occasionally you’ll want to replace it with a stronger opener: “I’m reaching out because…” or “I wanted to raise something…”
5. Give yourself credit. Changing communication habits takes real effort. Every email you send without an unnecessary apology is a small act of self-respect.
The words you use to introduce your thoughts shape how those thoughts land — and how you land. Cutting “just” from your vocabulary won’t make you sound arrogant. It’ll make you sound like someone who trusts themselves.
Confidence doesn’t mean pretending you know everything. It means trusting that what you have to say is worth saying.
To report LifeTutors to The Joint Commission, click here.
